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frenchy_chicksTitle: If It's my Last Chance
Rating: FRT
Characters: The Doctor (10th), Rose, Donna
Summary: "And I suppose... if it's my last chance to say it... Rose Tyler..."
Word count: 584
Disclaimer: Not mine. I wish they were, but they're not.
Author's notes: This may take you back to a moment you don't particularly want to remember, due to urges of wanting to slap and alternatively hug the Doctor
“And I suppose… if it’s my last chance to say it… Rose Tyler…”
The wall of the TARDIS flickered back into view and the Doctor stood there, unable to move, unable to blink. He’d had one chance, one last chance to tell Rose how much she meant to him, and he blew it. He always had to run his mouth, to over speak things. Why was he incapable of saying what he wanted to say exactly when he wanted to say it? Why didn’t he just say, “Rose Tyler, I love you!”
The tears formed in his eyes and slowly spilled down his cheeks. He made no move to wipe them away. He was alone, what did he care? He was going to cry, he was going to have a proper cry, just this once. He was going to mourn the loss of someone who had meant so much to him, who had stuck with him, who had said, promised to travel with him forever. Just this once, he would allow himself to feel the negative emotions he had been so afraid to show since the Time War. And then, when he was done, once he had allowed himself to process this loss, then he would be thankful that she was, technically, still alive, and move on. He had to.
He could still see her face in his mind. He’d memorized the way she had looked. She was so sad, and in so much pain. It was his fault. He’d let her go, because he couldn’t give her what she wanted more than anything – himself. He would age, and she would age, but she would be the only one to grow old and die. He would have to watch her whither away in front of him, and he didn’t want that. So, he’d let her be taken to the alternate universe, much as he had abandoned his granddaughter Susan all those years ago – for her own good.
Closing his eyes, the Doctor tried to focus on a happier Rose. The cheerful, if a bit naïve Rose he had first met and fallen for. The one who’d trusted him in every decision he made, the one who grinned at him and joked with him. Rose before he’d lost her.
He took in a shuddering breath, attempting to calm himself down. Before he could properly handle his emotions, he needed to set his TARDIS down some place safe. Possibly Cardiff, though, on second thought, maybe not. If he set her down there, he’d run the risk of seeing Jack, and he couldn’t face him, not now. Jack was the absolute last person he wanted to see.
Before he could even attempt to come up with a location, something was on his TARDIS. A someone, more like. A ginger someone wearing a wedding dress and snapping at him like he was a monster. Oh, if only she knew. Taking a deep breath, the Doctor geared up for the regular routine – intrigue and the solving of yet another mystery. But his heart just wasn’t in it. He hadn’t had time to grieve. Not properly, anyway. So, he faced this next challenge completely numb, not even thinking about the woman in front of him, not really. Instead, he was picturing Rose, his Rose… and how he had run away from her, just like he’d run away from everything and everyone else. He wouldn’t run. He was tired of running, he'd decided. No more running. No more. No more.
END
Rating: FRT
Characters: The Doctor (10th), Rose, Donna
Summary: "And I suppose... if it's my last chance to say it... Rose Tyler..."
Word count: 584
Disclaimer: Not mine. I wish they were, but they're not.
Author's notes: This may take you back to a moment you don't particularly want to remember, due to urges of wanting to slap and alternatively hug the Doctor
“And I suppose… if it’s my last chance to say it… Rose Tyler…”
The wall of the TARDIS flickered back into view and the Doctor stood there, unable to move, unable to blink. He’d had one chance, one last chance to tell Rose how much she meant to him, and he blew it. He always had to run his mouth, to over speak things. Why was he incapable of saying what he wanted to say exactly when he wanted to say it? Why didn’t he just say, “Rose Tyler, I love you!”
The tears formed in his eyes and slowly spilled down his cheeks. He made no move to wipe them away. He was alone, what did he care? He was going to cry, he was going to have a proper cry, just this once. He was going to mourn the loss of someone who had meant so much to him, who had stuck with him, who had said, promised to travel with him forever. Just this once, he would allow himself to feel the negative emotions he had been so afraid to show since the Time War. And then, when he was done, once he had allowed himself to process this loss, then he would be thankful that she was, technically, still alive, and move on. He had to.
He could still see her face in his mind. He’d memorized the way she had looked. She was so sad, and in so much pain. It was his fault. He’d let her go, because he couldn’t give her what she wanted more than anything – himself. He would age, and she would age, but she would be the only one to grow old and die. He would have to watch her whither away in front of him, and he didn’t want that. So, he’d let her be taken to the alternate universe, much as he had abandoned his granddaughter Susan all those years ago – for her own good.
Closing his eyes, the Doctor tried to focus on a happier Rose. The cheerful, if a bit naïve Rose he had first met and fallen for. The one who’d trusted him in every decision he made, the one who grinned at him and joked with him. Rose before he’d lost her.
He took in a shuddering breath, attempting to calm himself down. Before he could properly handle his emotions, he needed to set his TARDIS down some place safe. Possibly Cardiff, though, on second thought, maybe not. If he set her down there, he’d run the risk of seeing Jack, and he couldn’t face him, not now. Jack was the absolute last person he wanted to see.
Before he could even attempt to come up with a location, something was on his TARDIS. A someone, more like. A ginger someone wearing a wedding dress and snapping at him like he was a monster. Oh, if only she knew. Taking a deep breath, the Doctor geared up for the regular routine – intrigue and the solving of yet another mystery. But his heart just wasn’t in it. He hadn’t had time to grieve. Not properly, anyway. So, he faced this next challenge completely numb, not even thinking about the woman in front of him, not really. Instead, he was picturing Rose, his Rose… and how he had run away from her, just like he’d run away from everything and everyone else. He wouldn’t run. He was tired of running, he'd decided. No more running. No more. No more.
END